Chapter 32. "That"
I awoke to the sound of light breathing. I opened my eyes wearily to find Croy lying next to me, sleeping peacefully. I blushed lightly as I gazed upon his unconscious face. His features were a bit rougher than before. He was obviously a man now, but turning nineteen didn’t make a difference. He was still as handsome as ever. I smiled unwillingly as I gently moved his soft, black hair away from his eyes. I sat up slowly, so that I wouldn’t wake him. I looked around to see that I was in a big queen-sized bed. It had white sheets and a pale, light blue comforter. It was soft and comfortable. I felt weary and exhausted. My whole body ached as I got up slowly and made my way towards the bathroom, which was just a few feet away.
The room I was in had pale, cream-colored walls and white, shag carpet. I peeked out the other door that stood next to the bathroom door and realized that I was in Jason's apartment. I could tell from the silver, glass table and the black couches that adorned his living room. I sighed deeply as I made my way back towards the bathroom. When I got there, I looked at myself in the mirror. "Wow, I look awful" I muttered to myself as I raised my hand and touched my darkened eye. I also had a busted lip and a small scrape along my right cheek bone. I sighed exasperatedly after a few seconds. "I wish I wasn’t so helpless..." I said as I sighed sadly to myself.
"You’re not helpless...." His voice startled me as he hugged me gently from behind. I saw my cheeks turn pink in the mirror as I looked at our embracing reflection. I gently pulled away from him and made my way back to the bed and laid down wearily. Croy followed me and sat next to me. After a few moments of silence, I looked up at Croy who was playing with a bandage he had on his hand. "That’s right Croy, you’re injured!" I gasped, remembering how he had saved me the night before. I sat up and tried to help him with the bandage. I wrapped it gently around his hand as I tried not to hurt him. Croy just looked at me quietly.
"I don’t know why you do this..." I whispered sadly as I kept wrapping his hand up. He turned and looked at me bewildered. "I don’t know why you do this to yourself, all because of me. I’m truly not worth..." Croy interrupted me by placing his bandaged hand over my lips. "Do you really want to know?" He whispered as he looked at me seriously. "On second thought, how can you not know Hazel?" he trailed off as he leaned in over me. I leaned so far back, that I fell over on the bed. "Do you really want me to tell you why you’re so important to me? Why I would do anything for you...?" He began as he slowly crawled on top of me. "Do you need me to say it?" he whispered intensely as he glared at me with his ocean blue eyes.
I was trapped underneath him. My cheeks were blushing furiously. After a few seconds, I glanced up shyly and looked at his handsome face. A serious expression framed It's features. I felt as he lowered himself gently over me and gazed into my eyes longingly for a few seconds, then without saying a word, he kissed me gently on the lips. I kissed him back longingly. I could never control myself when I was with him. He was my weakness. I entangled my fingers in his soft hair as I pulled him closer to me. I wanted him as close as possible. I could feel his breathing begin to accelerate as I pulled him closer towards me. After a few seconds he pulled away reluctantly.
His face was flushed and his breathing was erratic. "Stop…" he whispered as he panted lightly. "It’s really hard to control myself Hazel, please..." He said as he gently caressed my face with his injured hand. "Why do you have to control yourself?" I muttered, my face flushed. "Because I’m nineteen and you’re fifteen, he-he." He chuckled lightly as he looked at me, a crooked smile spread across his lovely face. "That’s right, you’re an old man. Ewww" I said sarcastically. As I scrounged up my face. He chuckled at my expression. "You pedophile" I said as I stuck my tongue out at him. "Who you calling a pedophile? Ha-ha" he laughed as he tickled my sides.
"Stop it!! Hah-aha" I said as I burst out into laughter. He rolled off me as he continued tickling my sides. "Stop it, I can’t breathe!" I said, still cracking up. He chuckled and stopped with a smile as he waited for me to catch my breath. "I know you’re not a pedophile, but I am sure you know more about, "THAT" issue, than I do..." I muttered quietly as I avoided his gaze. There was a long pause between us when I said that. Croy looked away from me as he ran his fingers through his hair, nervously.
"Actually" he began as he looked at me, his cheeks were bright red. "I don’t..." he said it in almost a whisper. I looked at him confused. "I’ve never, you know..." he said as he fidgeted incessantly. After a few minutes, I finally understood what he was trying to say. "Oh, you've never had intercourse before?" I asked as I tried to confirm his answer. Croy's face blushed even deeper when I asked him that. He let his head slouch, allowing his shaggy hair to hide his blushing face. "Don’t say those kinds of things, you’re a lady. You shouldn’t talk about THAT..." he trailed off as he tried to hide his embarrassed expression. I thought it was adorable.
I placed my hand gently over his. "Well, I haven't done that either..." I said in a barely audible whisper. He looked up at me wide-eye. "Really?" He asked me incredulously. I blushed softly as I shrugged my weary shoulders. I was about to say something else to him, when suddenly; "HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" we heard a bout of boisterous laughter emanating from the living room. "Jason!? What are you doing here? I thought you were working!?" Croy shouted as he stood up nervously. "I was, but we were sent home early!! Ha-ha-ha! Dude!! You’re a virgin?! Ha-ha-" Jason laughed uncontrollably. Croy simply sat back down, embarrassed. His flushed face was hidden by his hair. "Nooo..." he began as he tried to protest. "I just, haven’t done, THAT.... with a women yet..." he said as he trailed off quietly. "So you ARE a virgin!!!!! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Jason exclaimed. He was laughing so hard that his face turned red.
Croy pouted adorably, making me giggle. After almost 5 minutes of non-stop laughing, I asked Jason for permission to take a shower in his house. After I freshened up and got dressed, Croy asked me if he could walk me home. I agreed, because I got the feeling that he didn’t want to be alone with Jason. As we were walking to my place, I looked up at Croy, who was unusually quiet. "Hey Croy, forgive me for bringing it up again, but…" I trailed off as I cleared my throat. "Why haven't you, you know... done THAT yet?" I asked him as I looked at the floor. Croy’s cheeks flared up again as he looked away, avoiding my gaze. "I just, well I've never..." he lost control of his words and stuttered unwillingly. I could tell he was really nervous.
"It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it..." I said as I continued walking next to him. "No! I mean..." Croy said as he glanced at me nervously. He took a few deep breaths as he tried to calm himself. After a few seconds, he turned to me and sighed. "I mean, I only want to do, THAT kind of thing, with somebody that I love. I only want to do it....with... you..." he trailed off as he looked away immediately after saying it. He ran his fingers through his hair quickly as he waited for my reaction. After a few seconds of silence he continued. "And well, you’re fifteen, so until you turn eighteen, I'll wait." He said as he looked up at the light blue sky.
It was dotted with a few white clouds that were rolling by. "I don’t have any interest in doing, THAT with anyone else..." He said as his cheeks flared dark red. I just smiled secretly to myself when he said that. I didn't tell him then that I felt exactly the same. After I reached my house, Croy said a quick goodbye to me and kissed me on the lips just before heading off. After I got home, I made my way to my room to change and readied my things to go back to the reality of work and school. A happy smile framed my face for the rest of the evening.